Sales Emails That Work...and Ones That REALLY Don't [With Real-Life Examples]

Looking to fill your sales funnel or work your way through an existing prospect list? Sales email campaigns to the rescue! But how do you write a sales email that actually gets you results? 

With an estimated 361 billion emails sent and received every day, how do you stand out in your prospect’s inbox? And once you convince them to open your email, how can you encourage a response?

These are great questions, and I’ve got answers for you. In this blog, we’ll explore what goes into writing sales emails that work, with some real-life examples of both good and bad emails we’ve received. Let’s dig in!

What NOT To Do: Sales Emails That Made Us Cringe

First, let’s talk about how not to write a sales email. For example, consider this email I got recently…

Ok, poor grammar and punctuation aside (it made our writers twitch), this email is a lot of words that don’t really tell me much. (“I recognized a lot of value in sections that would be valuable…” might be the worst word salad I’ve seen in a while.) 

Who is this person? What company do they work for? What services are their “potential customers” looking for? Without that vital information, how do I know if this company is the right fit for me? Needless to say, I sent this one straight to the trash folder (after screenshotting it to show you, of course;)).

And how about this email a client of ours got from an auto dealership:

*sigh* 🤦‍♀️Where do I even begin with this one? Again, it has terrible grammar and punctuation (use that grammar check, people!). But the worst part about this one is the opening. It’s cringeworthy to say the least…not to mention just plain inappropriate. 

This is not to say that you always have to be formal in your sales emails — you don’t! Informal, even funny sales emails can be INCREDIBLY effective. Just keep it classy, friends.

I have SO many examples I could share with you, but I think you get the idea. To sum it up, make sure to avoid the following in your sales emails:

• Poor grammar/spelling/punctuation
• “Word salads” and rambling copy
• Misleading subject lines
• Insulting your audience
• Generic content/lack of personalization
• Leaving out important information

This isn’t an exhaustive list, but nixing these things from your sales emails is a great place to start. Now let’s look at what you should do — how to write sales emails that actually get you results.

How To Write Sales Emails That Work

Writing a good sales email isn’t the work of a few minutes’ time. It takes effort and thought to create messaging that will capture your prospects’ interest. If you want to see results, think of your sales emails as the building blocks for constructing strong, lasting relationships.

Harness Your Personality

First things first, remember that you’re writing to people — real, live human beings. Your emails should reflect that.

In other words, you should write your emails like you’re having a conversation with the person on the other end…not as if you’re giving a power point presentation. Your email copy should be authentic. It shouldn’t read like the marketing department wrote it (even if they did 😉).

Think more networking event, less billboard ad.

Your emails should reflect your personality and company culture. (Unless your personality resembles the guy in the second email above…then maybe repress those specific personality traits. 🥴)

At the same time, make sure you don’t just talk about yourself. Your prospect wants to know what you can do for them, not how amazing you and your company are. Focus on telling a story, providing value, and building trust.

Write Great (and Relevant!) Subject Lines

The subject line may be the most important part of a sales email. After all, you can’t get very far with a prospect if they never open your emails!

According to HubSpot’s research, effective subject lines should:

• Engage curiosity
• Include promotional offers
• Be personalized to the recipient

A good subject line should also be short and relevant to the context of the email (no fake urgency, spammy language, or bait-and-switch tactics, please!). Think less about writing something catchy and more about communicating clearly and concisely.

And don’t forget about preheader text. Preheader text is like the subtitle of a book — it gives you an opportunity to expand a bit on the subject line and further encourage the reader to open your email.

Note: subject lines are a great place to utilize A/B testing. Divide up your prospect list and try out different subject lines to determine which are most effective.

Use Your Opening Line Wisely

Your sales email opening line should:

• Explain why you’re reaching out
• Connect to the topic in your subject line
• Start to build trust and credibility
• Transition naturally into your sales pitch

When writing your opening line, avoid generic openings like “Hi, my name is…” Instead, use something more personalized. 

For example, you could comment on their blog post or social media post you just read, an upcoming change in their business (“I was excited to hear about your new product!”), a success they recently had (“Congratulations on winning that award!”), and so on. Or, include a relevant statistic they’ll find interesting.

The goal is to quickly draw your reader in so they’ll want to hear more.

Keep Your Content Clear and Concise

Have you ever read an email that made you want to scream, “GET TO THE POINT ALREADY”? Keep that in mind when you write your sales emails. 

Your email content should be simple, concise, and relevant to your prospects’ needs. An effective sales email has a clear focus: one topic, with one action you want to encourage the reader to take. Avoid veering off on tangents, as that will only distract your audience (or worse, frustrate them so much they’ll move on).

Avoid generic propositions as well. Get specific about what you can do for your prospect and why yours is the best company to meet their needs. 

Clarify the pain points you can address for them (cue your elevator pitch or one-liner), and include a few bullet points that delineate the benefits they’ll receive by working with you. Then, end your email with a clear call-to-action (CTA).

Close With a Specific CTA

Every sales email you send should have a single, clear call-to-action. This CTA should concisely explain what the reader should do next to further engage with you. Giving your prospect a clear path to action will increase your chances of conversion.

Your CTA should be simple and easy for the prospect to complete, such as: “Schedule a call with me here” with a link to your calendar. Easy peasy.

In addition to your direct CTA, you may also want to include what’s known in the StoryBrand framework as a transitional CTA. The transitional CTA is an option for prospects who are interested, but not quite ready to take the next step. This CTA should provide more helpful information to help the prospect make their decision. For example, you could direct them to a blog, ebook, or guide you’ve written that will give them more information about how you’ll address their pain point and bring them success.

Learn how to design a great CTA in this blog!

Send a Series of Emails — Not Just One

With how busy everyone is and the sheer number of emails we all get these days, it’s easy for yours to get lost in the shuffle — even if you do everything right! Plus, it can often take multiple “touches” for a prospect to respond. For these reasons, it’s a good idea to send a series of emails to your prospect, rather than counting on one to do the trick.

For every campaign you create, write a series of three or four emails focused on a particular promotion or pain point you’ll address for your prospect. Skip the generic “just checking in” emails and make sure each email is personalized, concise, and adds value — such as a helpful article, relevant study, or another resource. 

Offering something of value with each email not only ensures you’re not wasting your prospects’ time, but also shows them more of what they can expect if they choose to work with you.

7 Examples of Great Sales Emails We’ve Received

The following are a sampling of actual sales emails my team and I have received that I think give a good idea of the difference between a great email and a not-so-great one.

Are these emails perfect? No. They don’t follow all the rules we laid out above — heck, some even have grammar and punctuation issues! But even our grammar-obsessed writers will forgive them for that, because despite their minor faults, these sales emails are highly effective.

1. “Who Gives a Crap?”: MAJOR Personality

Sales emails don’t always have to be as bright and fun as the ones from Who Gives a Crap (an Australian company that makes sustainable toilet paper, tissues, paper towels, etc), but it sure doesn’t hurt.

WGAC’s emails are always colorful — in more ways than one! In addition to their brightly colored graphics, their content is witty, engaging, a little silly…and highly effective. They clearly know their audience and aren’t afraid to let their personality shine through. Check out these examples:

2. A Personalized Experience

Here’s an example of personalization that goes beyond inserting the recipient’s name into the email. 

Amy, our Creative Director, received this email recently, and she said it “grabbed my attention simply because he did a loom video with our website. Sending a sales email that includes a loom video showing his face as he talks about his paid ad services while scrolling our website really personalized it for me.”

3. Telling a Story…and Getting Straight to the Point!

This email caught my eye because it does a great job of telling a story a business owner like myself can certainly relate to! It’s also simply written, easy to read and understand, and gets to the point fast!

4. Poking Fun at Terrible Sales Emails (Our Love Language 😏)

This one gave me a chuckle. It pokes a little lighthearted fun at automated sales emails gone wrong (a.k.a., sent without all the automated fields filled in). It’s fun, yet relevant, and gives me all the info I need to take the next step. 

5. When Your Contact Isn’t Responding

I liked this one, but you definitely need to know your audience if you send something like this. While the language could put some people off, I found it funny and relatable. It definitely stands out from all the generic follow-up emails I’ve gotten in the past.

6. An Effective “Oops” Email

This was another clever email one of our team members received recently. We’re not sure if the spelling error in the initial email was intentional or accidental, but either way, the “oops” response caught our eye.

7. Creating a Sense of Urgency (in a Fun Way)

This clever email I got recently put a smile on my face and made me want to schedule a massage STAT! (Although honestly, it doesn’t take much to convince me to schedule a massage.) This is a great template for reconnecting with existing clients in a memorable way.

Want help writing sales emails that work? The Wild Fig team is ready, hands poised over our keyboards, waiting to craft creative, relevant emails that help you close more deals. Simply schedule a no-strings-attached exploratory call to talk about your needs and how we can help!